Warzone, or The Price of Wisdom

This, I guess, in english on the sight of the happenings that this weeks brought to me. Everything, I suppose, happens for a reason. Even if we don't understand it completely, but this time was a little hard on me.

I've just realised that I'm not a child, or an adolescent, or an young person for all meanings. I'm growing up and that terrifies me. Not for the kinds of reasons that usualy i get terrified, such as having a job, or getting old, or having kids, and lose everyone I love for the inescapable result of time passing through us. I'm getting scared of the responsability of a gift. The wisdom that I naturally have is something to deal with and it disturbs me in a way...

When the time calls, I go there and get the job done. It, sometimes, destroys me in a way that gets hard to be myself againg for sometime. It requires silence, and love for myself, and, of course, time. I think I need to get stronger, faster and...grow up and understand. Understand myself first, of course, undertand my brothers and sisters in the world and grow the love I already have for them, understand the Universe, God and the Creation, and let it all gets through me, and then it won't be necessary that my duty of love takes so much from me.

Maybe I'm getting closer and closer to devote myself to espirituality.

Maybe I'm waking up for something I always was, but never realised untill now.

Maybe and just maybe I'm an old spirit, there was no need for me to pass by things I've already experienced to understand how life goes... And I should get in touch with my ancestral wisdom and light...

Anyway...this is a time for changes, were I'm starting to get called for a great reason...

Mediate, love, understand...advise, create, accept.

And, of course, be alive and well after doing that. And maybe grow up to be not an anxious person, start to talk with wisom and act by something i know I am.

Maybe, I should take control of myself, not the ego, but the soul.